A recent article from MSN, “’I’m 15 years older’: My second wife says she will pass my estate onto my sons. What could go wrong?” presents a question from a man with two adult sons from a prior marriage with $1 million in personal net worth. He’s wondering whether to rely solely on his wife’s verbal assurance to pass his estate to the adult sons if he predeceases her.

The sons are successful in their careers and don’t need his money. The man says his wife is one of the most honest people he’s ever met. However, is trust enough?

Estate planning files are filled with broken promises, not because of dishonesty. Circumstances change, and things happen. Having an updated estate plan, including a trust to safeguard assets for children from a prior marriage, is the best way to ensure that their interests are protected.

A large age difference or a large disparity between the spouses’ assets makes it wise to take the extra steps to preserve assets for the next generation. Otherwise, there’s no requirement for the surviving spouse to pass the assets on to the children.

If the surviving spouse remarries, the assets could even end up with children of their surviving spouse.

There are time-tested ways to distribute assets to children from a prior marriage to ensure that the spouse is well cared for and the children are not disinherited. One way to do this is to use a will to divide assets between the surviving spouse and the children.

Another is to leave the home, if it is in your name only, to the surviving spouse as a life estate, so they will be able to live in it for the rest of their life. The house will need to be maintained, and property taxes paid during that time. When the spouse dies, the house can then be left to the children to sell or keep. This can become complicated if the children are in a hurry to sell the home and the surviving spouse has a long life expectancy.

Marital trusts, like a Spousal Lifetime Access Trust or SLAT, are used to leave assets to the surviving spouse, while protecting the children’s inheritance. They can also be used to control how the assets in the trust are used. Funds can be earmarked for college, or if a child requires rehabilitation, the trust can fund it or set a requirement before distributions are made.

Tax benefits using a marital trust are higher than those for a straightforward inheritance, another reason to use a marital trust.

Note, this is not an issue to be resolved with a pre- or post-nuptial agreement. A will goes into effect upon your passing, and a trust becomes active once it is established. A pre- or post-nuptial is a good idea for a second marriage with age and net worth differences. However, this kind of situation requires a will and a trust.

Talk with an experienced estate planning attorney to create an estate plan to protect your spouse and your children. It will take the burden off all of you, since the decisions for asset distribution will be in place, and you can focus on enjoying your life with your new spouse.

Reference: MSN (May 3, 2025) “’I’m 15 years older’: My second wife says she will pass my estate onto my sons. What could go wrong?”